“I prayed for my life. I prayed for the lord to have mercy on me…”
I have always struggled with low moods, however I have tone particular occasion that comes to mind with this struggle. I was sitting on the end of my bed, in my home during the evening whilst my husband was in the study and I felt so alone. So many negative thoughts filled my head within seconds and I wanted to end my life. I had never wanted something to happen so quickly and swiftly and at the same time a very small soft voice among all the chaos said ‘pray’, and that is exactly what I did. I prayed for my life. I prayed for the lord to have mercy on me, to hold me, to shelter and protect me, to be my defender. I prayed that the devil was rebuked, that he had no hold on my life only Jesus. I had tears streaming down my face and the sound of hatred in my mind increase before I felt I could not take it any more and… peace. Peace descended at the last possible moment and the relief was exquisite. The lord had granted me peace, mercy and shelter. He had been my defender and continued to protect me.